Complications
by EternalDreamLand
Summary: The one thing Dearka never expected to say to his best friend, he said it. “Yzak, can I borrow your girlfriend for a day?” The silver haired teen stared back at him as if he had grown a second head, and then punched him in the face.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The hot tempered captain of the Voltaire tapped his long fingers against the sleek surface of the table in annoyance. A habit that _many _of his crew members found irritating, but no one ever dared to confront him regarding the subject. After all, Captain Joule wasn't known for his kindness or patience.

The sleek haired teen let out a sigh of frustration. Just how long were they planning on keeping his ship here? He despised the idea of wasting his time doing nothing. Not that he's really complaining about a time off, but to be stuck in Martius Five, waiting for a worthless old man's command _was _something that he found incredibly irritating.

"Just relax, will you? You're annoying me." Dearka warned. The blonde man had his arms crossed and was leaning against the wall for support.

"Shut up, Dearka! As long as we're on this ship, I'm in charge! I don't want to hear a word out of you!" He snapped. He wasn't in the mood for criticism, but he _was_ in the mood for a vent. "If that damn wrinkled prune isn't going to send us out on a mission, why bother keeping us locked up in the stupid ship!"

"Do you have anything better to do?" He raised a golden brow in question. When Yzak didn't respond, he shrugged it off. "It's not like getting angry is going to help us get out of here faster. Might as well make the best of it."

His words placed him in an even worse mood than before. "Just because idiots like you can find doing nothing enjoyable doesn't mean I can! We're so close to home, yet we're stuck in this god stinking place!"

"Why don't you do something about it then? Call the Chair Woman, or even better why not call your mother?" he taunted.

If Yzak wasn't angry before, he definitely was now. But he didn't know who his anger was directed toward—either Dearka or himself, for even considering the option. He must be desperate… he must be very _very _desperate indeed.

The commander smashed his fist against the table in frustration. He knew Dearka was right. Sitting here and complaining about it wasn't going to get him home any faster. But calling his mother was downright pathetic. He became the Captain of Voltaire through his own skills. If he turned around and called his mother for help, he would become the laughing stock of ZAFT.

Yet… he couldn't get the ridiculous idea out of his head. To be stuck at the base for no apparent reason when the outside world was in a state of chaos was just…absurd! There are plenty of missions he could be carrying out! Heck, going home would be even better, but he was willing to settle for doing something for PLANT.

So when it really came down to it, it was a choice between his sanity and his dignity.

"Damnit!" He barked at his bridge crew in frustration, "Someone get National Defense Committee Chair, Ezalia Joule on the telecom!"

Yes… Izak Joule rather have his sanity over his pride.

Dearka's jaw dropped in surprise. The proud Yzak that he knew would have never listened to his bizarre advice. But at this exact moment, the silver haired teen was either very desperate to get off the ship, or… he just missed his mother. The blonde smirked at the thought of that. However he wisely decided that his comments should be kept to himself for the purpose of his own safety.

The wide screen flashed, and the form of a proud middle aged woman lit up the screen. Her features resembled Yzak's so much that even a blind person would have known they were related.

"Yzak, what is it?" She said sharply. Her voice was full of seniority. It wasn't very hard to find where Yzak had gotten it from. "I have to go back to a meeting in five minutes. You better be quick."

"Either get me off the ship, or send me on another mission!" he said bluntly. He knew how pathetic this must sound to his mother, but coming up with another way of asking it would have taken valuable time that neither he nor his mother had. He, for one, didn't want to be stuck in Martius Five for another moment.

The council woman narrowed her eyes at the sound of her son's absurd request, before barking out. "You called me to do _that_! Couldn't you have asked your direct superior!"

"I _would _have, but he's in Aprilius One, and he's refusing to take my calls!" Yzak quickly rushed to explain. Did she think he was stupid enough to call her if he had any other option? "His replacement is an absolute idiot. He can't even tell the difference between a shuttle and a Nazca class ship!"

"Not surprising," she said dryly. "All the competent ones are here in Aprilius One with me. We're trying to work out a solution to the recent attacks."

Yzak stared back at his mother, waiting for the reply to his earlier request. Either way, he was her son. If she was really going to reject him, she would have hung up already. It was a good sign for her to stick around this long.

The silver haired woman sighed in defeat. In an official voice, she quickly stated, "Until the Council comes up with a resolution, the crew of Voltaire is hereby dismissed."

Yzak could hear cheers from behind. It had been months since he or anyone else on this ship had received the opportunity to return home. It couldn't be helped. PLANT was in a state of chaos after all.

He sank back into his seat. All of a sudden he felt exhausted.

When she spoke again, her voice sounded almost melancholy. "I'm afraid even if you're off work, I'm not. Be sure to drop by Aprilius One in your free time, Yzak."

Then the screen went blank.

Yzak let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't believe he actually pulled it off. "Kano, announce to the crew that they're dismissed. Everybody can go pack their bags and go home."

Within a few moments, the bridge was empty. Dearka, from his right, burst into fits of laughter.

"I can't believe you just did that!" said the blonde as he gasped for breath. "The great Yzak Joule asked his mother to be dismissed from his own ship!"

The silver haired man turned into a dark shade of scarlet. "Fine, if you don't want to go home I could put you on guard duty!"

The ex-pilot of Buster raised his hands defensively. "I didn't say that. Don't get all sore on me. I thought that was out of character of you, that's all."

The captain of Voltaire agreed reluctantly. It _was _out of character of him to ask anyone for help, especially his mother. He quickly drew to a conclusion that boredom was driving him to the edge of insanity. If he really had to spend another moment here, he might have murdered his crew with his bare hands.

"You know what you need?" asked Dearka in a tone that sent shivers down Yzak's spine. Speaking from experience, nothing good ever came out of that voice. It almost made the silver haired teen afraid to ask what exactly he had in mind, but of course the blonde was completely oblivious to his friend's discomfort. "You need a girl."

The Captain of Voltaire sent his companion his famous death glare. "What the hell makes you think that's going to help?"

"I think all of your frustration comes from your inability to have a relationship with a girl. Not that I'm saying you're sexually inept or anything…" he quickly added, noticing his friend's clenched fist, which was ready to send his way if he said anything else inappropriate. "It's just that we're in the military. There aren't many girls here. There's Miho, Kano in our bridge crew, and a couple of female nurses. Not a lot of real options. Of course I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them…"

"Trust me," said Yzak through clenched teeth, "my frustration does not come from my lack of relationship with a girl. Before you even suggest I'm emotionally or sexually deprived, I'm going to assure you that's not the case."

Dearka arched a brow in perplexity. "…Does that mean that you…err… is it Miho?" he asked in a serious voice.

"No, it's not her!" he barked back in response. Dearka was being stupid, and it was getting on his nerves. "It's none of your business who it is!"

"I bet it's Miho." Dearka retorted, ignoring Yzak's words completely. "I've seen the way she looks at you."

"Shut up! You stupid idiot!" Once the blonde had something in his head, Yzak knew he wasn't going to let it go easily.

"Oh… you're angry now." He stated a matter-of-factly, as if it was an everyday occurrence, which it probably was. "Does that mean I am right?"

The silver haired teen let out a sigh of frustration. "No, it's not her."

"There's nothing wrong with her, you know. She's a nice girl, not bad looking, and a red coat. She's quite aggressive when she wants to be too… I think you two would go well—"

A flying fist cut the darker boy off. He was just quick enough to avoid being punched in the face. "I told you I wasn't interested! Shut up already, you're giving me a headache."

"Okay, okay. No need to get violent, Yzak." said the blonde defensively, taking a step back from his friend in case he decided to take another hit.

"I'm going to go pack." said Yzak grudgingly, as he left the bridge in the direction of the captain's chamber.

The blonde silently watched his retreating figure. As far as Dearka was concerned, Yzak was hopeless when it came to girls. He had never seen him show the faintest interest in anybody. Unlike himself, who was easily pleased, Yzak demanded absolute perfection from his partner. Dearka wondered who the girl his best friend had spoken of was. Does a person who meets Yzak's standards actually exist?

* * *

The ex-pilot of Duel quickly threw his clothes into his dark leather suitcase. His room was a lot neater than you would expect from a person who slept there for 6 straight months. From that information alone, it's no real surprise why he wanted to get out of here.

But just where exactly was he going to go? Martius One was home…but what's the point in going there if there was no one to go home to? His father passed away years ago, and his mother was in Aprilius One. If the Council was really in session like she said they were, then that's precisely where **_she_** would be too… and that's exactly where he should go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A pair of blue eyes stared at the paper scattered across her desk in defeat. It looked like trying to finish them today would be pointless—not to mention downright impossible, considering she only had two hours until midnight. She let out a low sigh. There was just way too much to do, and not nearly enough time to do it all.

Her eyes trailed toward the window, lingering a moment longer than she intended to on the scenery below. _Aprilius One…_ she thought to herself. Lately, she had been spending more time here than her own home in Junius Two. The Council was in session so frequently lately that she had to move into her mother's Aprilius One house instead of staying at the hotel as she usually done.

Her fingers drifted toward the thinner chain around her neck, feeling for the metallic loop at its end—her engagement ring. The marriage wasn't decided out of her own free will, but was planned for her when she was still an infant. Political marriages aren't supposed to be filled with love; she knew that well enough. Her parents were that way. They married each other out of obligation, and lived out separate and unhappy lives.

At that thought, she felt fortunate that she wasn't going to marry a complete stranger, but she actually carried feelings for the man who gave her the ring. He's stubborn, strong-willed, and maybe even crude at times, but without a doubt, a good person. But the real problem lied with the fact that she couldn't even remember the last time she had seen him. Was it five or six months ago? In any case, it couldn't be helped. He's in the military after all.

She shook her head to clear away her thoughts.

It didn't look like she was going to get any more work done tonight. There was no point in staying in her office any longer than she already had.

She quickly dialed the number of her bodyguards, who were waiting patiently for her outside. "Yes, Hiro, I'm ready to go home now. Can you bring the car out to the front?"

"About that, Miss. There's someone out here to see you," the deep voice said uneasily.

The light blue haired girl was alarmed. Who would visit her two hours before midnight? In fact, who knew she was still even here? Attempted assassinations of Council Members were common, especially during the current state the world was in.

"That's fine, why don't you bring our guest to the waiting room. I'll be there as soon as I can." If someone bothered to visit her this late at night, that person must have urgent business with her. Knowing that, she still couldn't be careless. She didn't want to risk being shot to death in her own office. She quickly unlocked the top drawer of her desk and took out a silver handgun. She hid it behind her jacket just in case her late night guest was a hired killer. After all, it didn't hurt to be extra careful.

She organized her papers into a rough pile and left them on her desk, before leaving the room. She met two of her bodyguards outside her office door. "Ms.Leitner, he's in the waiting room as you have instructed." He told her in a hushed voice.

"Do you know him?" she carefully questioned. If they didn't lunge at him the first chance they got, that meant he wasn't particularly suspicious or outwardly dangerous.

"I didn't recognize his face, but I recognized his name. Do you want to know it?"

She sighed. Words alone meant nothing. Anybody could have barged into her office and called himself a name of someone she knew. "No, that's fine. I'll find out in a few seconds."

She quickly opened the wooden door, and made her way inside. "I'm sorry to have made you wait this long–" she froze in her tracks, as the unmistakable silver hair and sharp blue eyes caught her attention. Her heart skipped a beat. "Yzak—"

"Emera," he said politely.

She opened her mouth, and then closed it without making a sound. She was speechless. How could he just show up in the dead of the night, out of the blue?

"You guys can go. I'll take her home tonight." he told her bodyguards, who stood behind her in the dim room, safeguarding her as if she was a fragile flower. Yzak smirked at the thought of that. Their "flower" could probably beat them up with her hands tied up behind her back.

When they opened their mouths to protest, the silver haired man told them in irritation, "I'm the captain of Voltaire, Yzak Youle. If I survived two wars against the Earth Alliance, I can protect your Representative."

However they refused to budge. "You're an elite figure in the ZAFT military, Mr.Joule. However despite the truth in your words, we're only allowed to follow the orders of—"

The light blue haired girl raised her hand to silence him. "It's fine. You guys can leave us."

Her three bodyguards turned to each other in suspicion. Hiro, the head of her defense squad, nodded at the other two. They left the room without saying another word. They had long known the arrangement between the Joule and the Leitner family. However, they never met the infamous Yzak Joule until tonight. Neither did they really understand the nature of their relationship. Was it just another one of those political marriages with no feelings behind them? Or was it something more than that?

As soon as the door was firmly closed behind them, the girl lunged herself at the man in front of her. "What are you doing here? When did you get off the ship?" She had millions of questions to ask him, but for now, she was willing to settle for those two.

"Just today. I had to go through so much trouble to get out of Martius Five. My idiot of a superior was called into Aprilius One, so I was stuck with a numbskull replacement. He was too terrified to dismiss my ship, so I had to go through the trouble of calling my mother—"

"Wait…" A small grin formed on her lips. "Did you say you called your _mother _to get off your ship?" She turned to examine at his face, as a small blush crept up his cheeks.

"It's not like I had a choice! If I didn't do something about it, I probably would've been stuck there until the Council was dismissed. But by then I would be sent out on another mission." He said stubbornly, pulling her back into a hug. She melted against his touch. This felt strangely peaceful, as if it erased the chaotic months that they've had to endure apart. Their responsibilities quickly became a second priority to them.

She lowered her head to rest her cheek against his shoulder. "How long are you staying this time?" she asked hesitantly—her voice coarse. Just how many more days did she have with him before he's ordered back into the battlefield? And then what? Wait another 6 months to see him again?

"I don't know." He answered truthfully. "I'll probably be here as long as the Council's still in session. But it'll only be a matter of time once it's over."

"So basically what you're saying is, you're going to be in town as long as I'm in my conference…" she said grimly, tightening her grip on his shirt.

He sighed. Life was full of irony, wasn't it? "I know what you're going to say next. I can't leave ZAFT, you know that. With these current attacks, they need me—"

"I know, I know." She told him gently. They've had this conversation plenty of times before, but its outcome was always the same. The man in front of her simply refused to budge. "I don't want to have another argument with you. When you're out there, I worry about you."

"I would be worried if you didn't." He said haughtily. It wasn't as if he was being arrogant, but the way he talked always had that air to it—that sense of superiority. No one else could achieve that effect. "By the way, is hiding a gun under your shirt really necessary? You weren't actually planning on shooting me with it, were you?"

She smiled sheepishly, as she quickly removed the gun from her belt. "I had no idea who it was this late at night. So I thought I might as well be careful"

"If you're going to carry a gun with you, what's the point in having those goofballs you call bodyguards?" he asked curiously. "You can probably beat up all of them without much of a problem."

She cracked a smile. "Maybe so, but mother says it doesn't look nice for a Representative to walk around without them."

"Even if they are completely useless and can't defend a thing to save their life." the silver haired teen added.

"They are good people. They try their best to look after me…even though I don't really need it."

"It's not a bad idea to have bodyguards. You just need to be more careful in who you choose. The whole idea is completely pointless if you have someone that can't even do anything for you. Instead of having your swarm of them, you really just need a dependable one, like Kira for Lacus-san."

She raised a brow in question. "Everybody knows Kira and Lacus-san are an item. How else are you going to get the famous pilot of the Freedom as your bodyguard?"

Yzak narrowed his eyes as a sudden thought stuck him. "It's not like I have anything better to do in the next couple of days anyways." He started awkwardly, completely failing to suggest it in the casual manner that he intended on doing. "Until I have to get back to the base, I'll be your bodyguard."

Her jaw fell open in surprise. She definitely didn't expect him to say that. Yzak Joule, of all people, was actually willing to settle on being her bodyguard. Even if it was only for a few days, for him to agree on such a lowly job was surprising, considering how haughty the man was.

A small blush stained her cheeks. "Are you sure you don't mind doing a job like that? Your mother and your acquaintances are on the council with me. I don't think it's possible to avoid being seen by them."

"Do you honestly think I give a damn about what they think?" He said seriously, his voice filled with irritation.

"No, I guess not. But I just thought that—"

"Stop worrying about it already! If I was the one to suggest it in the first place, you have no right to fret over it! All you need to do is accept my offer, and that's the end of that." He told her impatiently. If he didn't want to do it in the first place, he wouldn't have offered. She was being a worry-wart.

"If that's the case, I'll gladly accept your offer, Yzak." She said in gratitude. "This way I get to spend a lot more time with you, since you'll be with me during the council meetings. Although… ideally going to the park or beach would be better… but knowing how busy the two of us are, I guess we don't really have much of a choice."

"This is the negative aspect of having the influence we do over PLANT." He said solemnly. "Our lives don't seem like our own anymore. It feels like we're living it for someone else."

She flashed him a weak smile. She knew the feeling all too well. Whatever they did in the waking moments of their lives were for the welfare of PLANT and its citizens. Their own personal lives were forced to be put on the backburner. For instance, their marriage, which was arranged 14 years ago, progressed no more than it did on that day. What was the point in getting married if the two of them spent less than three months home all together?

"No matter how I look at it, it seems like we've sold our souls to the devil by joining ZAFT and the Supreme Council." She said humorlessly. "Yet despite everything we've sacrificed, nothing seems to have changed. Wars and conflicts still occur. People still die."

"There's no point in thinking 'I should have' or 'if only I could have'. All we can do is try our best, that's all there is to it." After watching countless of faceless soldiers die on the battlefield, his way of thing gradually changed. He could only do what he can. Agonizing over his loses, and wishing for more power would only bring additional problems to his life. Sometimes it's better to accept things for what they are, and settle for what he could get.

"Sometimes I'm afraid our lives will end up like my parents'." Her gaze unconsciously drifted toward the window. The city was still brightly illuminated by the countless lights scattered throughout the vicinity. "My parents rarely saw each other when my father was still alive. He was always away in the battlefield, and my mother was always busy with her council duties. The job of raising my brother and I fell onto the shoulders of nannies and distant relatives. When the two of us get married—no," she quickly corrected herself. "What I mean is I don't want us to be married until our lives are our own again. Living for the sake of PLANT might seem glorious, but it's an empty existence. I want to live for us, Yzak, not the world."

His sharp blue eyes widened in surprise. He never knew she felt that strongly toward the subject. Actually, he never knew she thought about their future marriage at all.

"After the conflicts are resolved, I'll retire from the council, and take on a normal job. I know I can't make you quit ZAFT, but I want you to at least think about it. Spending a week with you every three months is not the way I want our marriage to work."

His mouth felt dry. Throughout his entire early adulthood and late adolescence, he had been Yzak of ZAFT. If he wasn't a soldier, who would he be? He didn't know, and he certainly didn't want to think about it. The life of the average didn't appeal to him. Yet being in the military wasn't a long term solution either. "I'll think about what you said, but that's all I can promise you at the moment." He didn't know what else to say. He wasn't about to make a promise to her than he couldn't keep. He was going to be honest with her if it was the last thing he did.

Noticing the slight frown imprinted on his face, she quickly changed the subject.

"Yzak, have you had dinner yet?" she asked him suddenly.

"What?" He gave her a look that suggested that she was out of her mind. If she wanted to steer the conversation in a different direction, she could have done a better job. Saying that out of nowhere was stupid—especially coming from a politician. "It's almost 11 at night. Of course I've had dinner! You mean…" Realization suddenly dawned on him, "you… haven't?"

She flashed him a sheepish smile. "I've been in my office doing paperwork all afternoon. I haven't really eaten anything since breakfast."

"You are so irresponsible!" He told her in irritation, gently pushing her toward the direction of the door. "You should have asked your secretary to order you dinner hours ago."

"I wasn't really hungry before." She shrugged, "Although, I started to realize that after she left… but by then it was too late, and I was too lazy to order something myself."

"Come on; let's find you a restaurant that's still open." He turned off the light, and closed the door behind him. "Geeze, couldn't you have said something about earlier?"

"What did you want me to say? 'Yzak! I haven't seen you in so long! Now, let's get out of here and have dinner. I'm starving'?"

"You idiot." He hit her in the back of her head. "This is serious. You know your body is below the level of a normal coordinator. If you don't take care of yourself, your heart condition is going to get worse."

"My heart is fine." She quickly reassured him, "As long as I take my medication, I won't have my attacks."

"Just because you don't have your attacks doesn't mean you're fine."

"That's funny. I remember making you my bodyguard, but I don't remember making you my mother." The blue haired girl teased as she ran ahead and dodged out of the room. The ex-pilot of duel followed, throwing threats and insults in her way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Yzak looked into the mirror and scowled. The black suit he was forced to wear was plain and it felt stiff against his skin. It was uncomfortable compared to his usual attire. The reality of the situation was finally starting to dawn on him. He was quickly growing to regret his rash decision to become a bodyguard last night.

He sighed. In any case, he was stuck with it now. Yzak Joule wasn't one to take back his words. He was going to go through with it if it was the last thing he did—figuratively speaking of course. He wasn't planning on getting killed in the Supreme Council Meeting, unless it was done by boredom. Not that he didn't find politics intriguing, he just found some Representatives extremely dull, especially Jeremy Maxewell from Quintilis City. He could literally go on for days about how PLANT should give more budgets to chemical engineering, and somehow that would make the world a better place to live in. As far as Yzak was concerned, it was all a bunch of rubbish. The man was nuts.

The silver haired teen quickly adjusted his tie, and took one last look at himself in the mirror, before making his way out of the hotel room.

* * *

The ex-pilot of Buster sat in his car impatiently. His father was late. He promised to drive him to the Council Meeting this morning, and properly introduce himself to his fellow council members. He hated politics and politicians even more. They were always so full of themselves, pretending they know everything. Do they honestly have any idea how many soldiers they've sent to their deaths with their futile demands? No, they don't. Even if they do, they don't seem to care about it. 

The blonde heard the car door click open, and the rustling of fabric as his father settled down in the backseat. Then a small thud, as he closed the door behind him. "Sorry to make you get up so early in the morning, Dearka." He said apologetically. "I know you got here late last night, but since I don't know how long you're staying, I need to find time with you whenever I can."

"It's fine, dad. I was up anyways." Dearka told him nonchalantly, pulling the car out of the driveway. "But is it really necessary for me to introduce myself to your friends? Most of them know me anyways."

"They aren't my 'friends', Dearka." He corrected him. "There are no friends in politics. And yes, it is necessary. It's crucial to introduce my heir to my political opponents. I'm sure you haven't met most of the current council members before. Its make up changed quite a lot since the last time you were home."

"Another geezer died of old age?" said the smirking blonde, taking a left turn.

"This is serious business, son." He said solemnly, his eyes firmly fixed onto the passing scenery. "A lot of the council members were removed from their positions after Louise Leitner took over the Council. She's not as radical toward the naturals as she was during the first war, but she'll never have Lacus Clyne's sentiments toward them."

"She's not ruthless enough to start another war, is she?" Dearka questioned worriedly.

"No, she's not. She's trying her best to steer PLANT away from that." He reassured. "But it's the other council members I'm worried about. Herman Gould from October City wants another war, and he's using the current Earth Alliance attacks on civilian shuttles as his platform. He's got a large chunk of supporters. I don't know how long Louise can hold out."

He swore under his breath. "What are Athrun and the other council members doing then?"

"Trying their best like I am." He sighed, shaking his head. "Politics is a mind game, Dearka. Nothing is as simple as it seems. Take the marriage arrangement between the Leitner and the Joule family—"

"What did you say!" The dark skinned teen turned around to stare at his father in shock and disbelief, as the car swerved onto the next lane.

"Keep your eyes on the road!" His father quickly reminded him, grabbing onto the handle above the car door, as the car swerved back to its original lane. "You mean Yzak hasn't told you about the arrangement yet?"

"No, he hasn't." He said breathlessly. Maybe this would explain the strange conversation he had with his best friend before they unboarded the Voltaire.

"Louise and Ezalia made the arrangement for Emera and Yzak years ago to ensure the other's political support. I would say Ezalia benefited greatly from it." He said dryly, openly expressing his dislike toward the silver haired woman. "I'm sure you're perfectly aware of how she went out of power after the fall of Patrick Zala?"

Dearka nodded, keeping his eyes on the road this time.

"After Louise became Chair Woman, she brought her back to the Council, and made her National Defense Committee Chair." He said suggestively. "But do you honestly think she did it out of goodwill?"

Realization dawned on him. "She did it because Ezalia had their arrangements in ink and paper, and the Chair Woman couldn't back out of it."

"Exactly."

Dearka shook his head in disbelief. Politicians were worse than thieves. They threaten, black mail, and even manipulate their own allies to get what they want. "I can't believe Yzak didn't tell me anything about it."

"I don't think this is something either family wants the public to know."

"Emera Leitner…" The blonde whispered the name under his breath. "Why does that name sound familiar?"

"She's Junius City's Representative." His father answered the question with ease. "Not a bad politician, but she's certainly not as ruthless as her mother. She's supporting Lacus Clyne and Athrun Zala with their new proposal."

"No, that's not what I mean." Dearka retorted, scrunching his eye as he tried to remember. "I've heard of that name before in ZAFT."

"She was on the Legacy during the second war. A red coat, if I'm not mistaken."

Dearka raised a brow in question. "She was in ZAFT?"

Tad nodded. "She left after the second war and took her mother's place as Junius City's representative when Louise became Chair Woman."

The blonde shook his head. "What an ambitious family…"

"I guess it's out of the question to even suggest you to take my place when I retire?" He asked with a hint of hopefulness.

"Father, you know I'm not cut out for politics." He said in exasperation. "All I want is a normal life. I've had enough of lies and deceits to last a lifetime."

"I guess it can't be helped if you feel that strongly against it." The older man sighed. "I worry about PLANT's future. Without a doubt, Lacus Clyne will take Louise's position once she retires, but even with her as Chair Woman I can't get rid of that little doubt in the back of my head."

"I don't think I can ever trust politicians." Dearka stated dryly, pulling up to the Supreme Council Parking lot. "No offence to you, dad."

"None taken." He answered. "When you told me you didn't want to follow in my footsteps, I was a little disappointed, but at the same time I was relieved. I don't want this life for you, son. There's too much confusion and manipulation. You never know who you can trust. In the Council Room, it's impossible to tell a friend apart from a foe."

"Or so you keep telling me." Dearka muttered under his breath, as he turned off the car engine.

* * *

The Supreme Council Conference Room brought back memories. Yzak served as a representative for a brief while after the first war. Politics was challenging, sometimes crazy even. But most of the time, it was just downright boring. He had no idea how his fiancée and his mother could stand associating with these old geezers. 

"Yzak!" A familiar voice called out. He turned around to find a face he didn't expect to see.

"Dearka?" He said the name in disbelief.

"I didn't expect to find you here!" The blonde punched him playfully on the shoulder. "I was dropping my father off. What are you doing here? I don't see your mother…"

Yzak found his predicament quite difficult to explain, especially when his friend didn't know about his engagement. However, he was spared from the painful silence by Tad, as he came up behind the two. "Yzak! I'm surprised to see you here! Did you decide to drop by for a visit?" He said warmly. He was quite fond of the silver haired teen. Yzak had potential in the political field, he knew. He was ambitious, determined, and had a unique view regarding politics.

"I guess you could say that, Mr.Elsman." He said unsurely.

"In any case, enjoy yourself here—if that's possible." He flashed him a knowing smile, "If you're ever free, Yzak, please do come over for dinner. I can't thank you enough for bringing back my son alive."

"It wasn't very hard to do, sir. He's a very capable pilot."

"You're too modest, Yzak." He gave him a friendly pat on the shoulders. "I think I see Jeremy at the corner over there. I must speak with him about his proposal. It was nice seeing you again." He turned to his son. "Dearka, once you're done here, I need to introduce you to George Luftwaffe. Don't take too long, Ok?"

Dearka reassured his father that he wasn't going to spend the whole day talking to his friend, as the older man quickly made his way toward the balding representative of Quintilis City.

"Politicians are boring, aren't they?" said Dearka dryly as soon as his father was out of earshot. "All the ones I've spoken to here today are as dull as hell."

Yzak smirked. "If we can make it out of here alive, Dearka. It would be a miracle."

The two companions shared a brief moment of laughter.

"You still haven't said why you're here." The darker boy brought up the topic once more. "You're not with your mother. I can see that much."

The blonde's persistence was starting to piss him off. "Why is it any of your business what I'm doing here, Elsman." He said icily.

"Because I want you to tell me the truth that you have a fiancée, and you're here to see her." He answered curtly, looking at his friend straight in the face.

His eyes widened in astonishment. "How did you find out?"

"My father." He replied, scanning the room from the corner of his eyes. "But I should've known. Why else would have the Chair Woman let us off the hook for defending the Eternal?"

Yzak shrugged. "I would have told you about it if it ever came up, but I don't exactly make a hobby out of telling people about my personal life."

"But I'm not just anyone Yzak, I'm your damn best friend!" He protested. "Isn't this something a little too important to leave out?"

The silver haired teen didn't know how to answer. It was out of the question to tell him that he didn't feel comfortable talking about girls with him. But Yzak was spared the trouble of coming up with a reply, as a familiar voice called out their names. "Yzak! Deaka!"

This voice belonged to no other than the renowned pilot of the Justice. Yzak instinctively clenched his fist at the sight of the man. "Athrun, you bastard." He shouted, making several people turn to him in surprise.

The blue haired teen raised his hands defensively. "You haven't changed one bit, Yzak."

"Neither have you, you arrogant jerk."

"So how's the life of a Representative, Athrun? Is it as boring as we think it is?" Dearka asked humorously, quickly changed the subject.

"If you mean I would rather put a bullet in my head than sit through another meeting, then yes it is." He grinned. Being together with them reminded him the days of his early adolescence, when he was still the pilot of the Aegis.

"Glad we see eye to eye for once." said Yzak coldly. The teen in front of him irritated him to no end just for being alive. There was something about him that pissed Yzak off. Maybe it was how he earned respect from others without even trying. Or maybe it's how he's better than him in everything he did. Either way, his resentment toward the other only grew since the moment they've met.

"How do you think this conflict's going to turn out?" The blonde questioned, remembering the earlier conversation he had with his father. "My old man doesn't think things look too good right now."

"It's not." Athrun answered wryly. "We're at a stalemate. Half of the council supports the idea of sending PLANT to war and the other half doesn't. I don't know who is going to be the first to change sides, but that person determines PLANT's future."

"The damn bastards must be crazy to want another war." Yzak's body stiffened. "Do they have any idea how many people they're sending to their deaths?"

"They haven't seen the battlefields like we have, Yzak. To them it's just another political decision." Athrun shrugged helplessly. "We're trying our best, but it doesn't seem like it's going anywhere. Herman Gould's got a lot of support."

"He's a smart man. There's nothing much we can do against him that we haven't tried already." said the songstress as she walked up to the trio, Kira following closely behind. "It's nice to see you again Dearka, Yzak."

"The pleasure is all mine, Lacus-san." The blonde greeted courteously, as he moved aside to make room for the ex-pop star and her renowned bodyguard. "How do you like the life at PLANT, Kira?" He asked out of curiosity.

"Just fine, Deaka. It's quite different from Orb, but overall it's just a city like any other." The kind-hearted pilot of the Freedom answered, casting him a side glance. "Have you heard from Milliallia lately?"

Dearka cringed at the sound of her name. It's common knowledge that the girl had dumped him a week after his decision to return to PLANT two years previously. And it's also common knowledge that the ex-pilot of Buster never really got over the incident. "No, I haven't." He answered, rubbing the back of his head nervously, "How is she?"

"Same as always." He flashed him a soft smile. "She's coming up to PLANT tomorrow for a photo exhibition. She said if possible she would like to get together with you for coffee or something of the sort."

His lips suddenly felt dry. Milliallia was coming to PLANT. After two years, he was finally going to see her again.

"She also said to bring the girl you mentioned to her last time. She really wants to meet her." Kira added as an after thought. "Just who is this girl, Dearka? How come I haven't heard about her before?"

The blonde tensed. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. The last time he had spoken to Milliallia, he was bragging about this terrific chick he was "dating", and how he was totally in love with her. But the truth was, he was exaggerating. The girl was only a one night fling. He couldn't even remember her name for god's sake! He just felt like he had to make something up to convince Milly that he was over her. Now that she expects to meet the girl, what was he going to do?

"My private life is not exactly something I put on public display, Kira. You know how it is." He said casually, borrowing Yzak's words from earlier. The brunette didn't question him, but he was sure he didn't buy it. Heck, it sounded like a lie even to his own ears.

"Dearka, didn't you promise your father to introduce yourself to some old geezer a while back?" Yzak cleverly reminded him. "I think he's waiting for you."

"Right." He said hurriedly. He sent his best friend a grateful look before excusing himself.

* * *

"Dearka." His father said in surprise, as the blonde approached him. "I thought you forgot about it." 

"I did." He admitted guiltily. "Yzak had to remind me."

"Well, I'm just glad you have a responsible friend like him." He laughed, and turned to the girl next to him. "Emera, this is my son, Dearka."

She flashed him a polite smile, and extended her hand forward. "I'm Emera, Emera Leitner."

He took her hand in his. "Dearka Elsman, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, councilor. You have no idea how much I've heard about you."

She blinked. Confusion evident on her features. "I can't tell whether that's a good thing or not." She said unsurely, tilting her head to one side.

"Oh no, I assure you, everything I've heard about you was positive." He flashed her his signature smile. "So, my father mentioned to me earlier that you were in ZAFT before. What kind of mobile suit did you pilot?"

Dearka may not know much about politics, but this was something he did know about.

"ZGMF-X2000 GOUF Ignited." She beamed. "It was a good machine. Saved my life in more than one occasion. What about you, Major?"

"ZGMF-1001 Blaze ZAKU Phantom." Dearka answered; stuffing his hands into his pants pocket, as he shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Councilor, your ship was a part of the Lunar Fleet during the second war. Am I correct?"

"You're right about that. But I was on the other side of the moon from where Voltaire was."

He was taken back. How did she know what ship he was on? "Forgive me for asking, but have you heard of me before?"

"Of course. You are one of the most distinguished pilots in ZAFT. I know more about you than you probably give me credit for." She said suggestively, a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"Try me." He smirked. "Dearka Elsman. You were a member of the famous Le Creuset Team in the first war. You piloted the GAT-X103 Buster. After a battle against the Archangel, you were issued MIA. However you were actually alive and well aboard the ship. The next time we saw you was at the Battle of Jachin Due. However you were fighting alongside the Freedom—"

Dearka blinked. "… I find it oddly unsettling that you know this much about me."

Laughing at his discomfort, she quickly added. "Before you start freaking out, I should say I was the one who processed your case regarding the situation with the Eternal. I read your entire file."

"And memorized it." He added uncertainly. "I guess I should thank you for sparing my life though."

"Don't thank me, thank Yzak. He was the one who made sure I went easy on you." She told him kindly, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. "He might be a bit difficult sometimes, but he's a good person."

"I still can't believe you're engaged to him." The words accidentally slipped out of his mouth before he could stop himself. His father coughed uneasily.

Dearka ruffled his blonde curls nervously. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you, councilor." She stared at him blankly for a second before shrugging it off. "Don't worry about it. It's not exactly something that's public knowledge after all. For you to be surprised like that, it can't be helped."

"Just exactly how close are the two of—" Dearka stopped in mid sentence, as he noticed his father's threatening glare. "Your parents." He quickly finished. Of course the blue haired girl wasn't stupid, she knew this wasn't the question he intended on asking, but she decided to play along.

"As close as politicians get. They used to be friends when they were our age." She told him weakly. "It was nice meeting you Dearka. Tad, I think the meeting's about to start soon. We should get going."

He nodded in agreement. "You can go on ahead, Emera. I want to have a word to Dearka first."

The light blue haired girl did as she was told, leaving the father and son by themselves. From the corner of his eyes, Dearka saw her approach his best friend.

"That's too personal of a question to ask the representative, son." The older man told him critically. "You better be glad she wasn't Herman Gould. Otherwise—"

"If it was Herman Gould, I wouldn't have wanted to know such details about his life anyways. He's not the one engaged to Yzak!"

The blonde said the last sentence a little louder than he should have. Several people turned to stare at him in suspicion, including a certain said individual. Dearka could feel his best friend's glare piercing a hole in his back.

"Actually, Dearka, I'm quite glad you're not going into politics. You would be _slaughtered_…" His father shook his head in exasperation, as he laid a hand on his shoulder. "I should head to the meeting. Why don't you go out and have some fun. I'll see you when I get home."

"Good luck, father." Dearka saluted, a mischievous grin evident on his face. "I will be praying for your safe return. From now on, I refuse to come within ten meters of this building. I'm afraid dullness might be contagious."

"Maybe Elena dropped him on his head one too many times when he was a baby…" He muttered under his breath as he quickly walked away, carefully hiding his face from his peers' questioning gaze.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The blonde paced around the room, deep in thought.

Just what exactly was he going to do? Milly was coming to Aprillius One tomorrow, expecting to have coffee with him and his girlfriend. If he knew one little lie was going to cause him this much trouble, he would have never told it. But he didn't, and it was too late to be regretting it now. What he needed was a plan, and fast.

He bit his lower lip. If he could find a girl who fitted his description and was willing to lie for him then all of his problems would be solved. But where the hell was he going to find someone like that? Dearka was excellent with the ladies, but he wasn't a miracle worker.

He felt a sudden overwhelming sense of panic. He swallowed nervously, attempting to calm down his nerves.

_Right..._ He told himself silently.

He couldn't afford to freak out now. There wasn't any time for that.

First, before he did anything else, he needed to recall just what exactly he told her that night…

"_She's wonderful. I think I'm falling for her."_

"_Oh…" she was quiet for a moment. "What is she like?"_

_Dearka paused before saying in an exaggerated voice. "She's everything I've ever wanted: beautiful, smart, fun…maybe a little too stubborn for comfort sometimes, but she's wonderful." He felt like throwing up as those words left his mouth. No one could ever compare to Millalia. This was the biggest bullshit in the world. _

"_You sound really happy with her, Dearka. I'm glad…" Her voice sounded forced._

_However, the blonde was determined to continue. "My parents are really happy with her. Her family is very influential in the political world. My old man was so excited about it that he went to her father to negotiate a marriage arrangement. I told him it was too early for that, but he didn't listen. Imagine my embarrassment when I saw her the next time." He chuckled. _

Dearka wanted to slap himself. By saying all of that, he basically dug his own grave. What on earth was he thinking? Just where exactly was he going to find a girl like that? A damn politician's daughter…why couldn't he come up with something less impossible to find?

He sighed in exasperation. Lacus Clyne was the only name that came to mind, but that wouldn't work. She's with Kira, Milly knew that well enough. But more than that, he didn't want to face Freedom's pilot's wrath.

Dearka felt as if he was forgetting something… or someone… as a matter of fact.

His mind slowly made a connection.

_Wrath…anger…Yzak…………Emera…_

He cringed. He wished he hadn't thought of that. Emera Leitner was beautiful, there's no denying that, but she was unmistakably Yzak's. He didn't dare to think what would happen to him if he suggested _borrowing_ his best friend's fiancée for a day.

He shuddered. Suffice to say the outcome wouldn't be good. He quickly named that the backup plan. He was going to avoid this scenario as best as possible.

* * *

The ex-pilot of Buster waited nervously in the parking lot, suddenly finding the hem of his shirt interesting. 

He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to ask his best friend the most bizarre question that probably would ever come out of his mouth—which basically summarized how dreadful it was, considering Dearka typically said a lot of stupid things.

He suddenly felt an urge to bang his head against his car door. It wasn't too late to turn around now. The meeting was still in session. He had the time. But if he really did take that way out, he would be forced to suffer the humiliation of telling Milly the truth.

He winced.

No, that wasn't an option. He would rather get beat up by his best friend than tell Millialia he had lied to her. He couldn't stand the thought of seeing the appalled expression on her face.

His words had hurt her that night; he knew they would before they even left his mouth. But he couldn't help it. He was angry with her and her selfishness. The stubborn girl single handedly decided that they were better off alone than with each other.

He smiled bitterly.

She didn't even bother asking how he felt about everything. She just broke up with him without a single warning. He thought she was happy with him, but he thought wrong.

A humorless chuckle left his mouth as his hand formed a tight fist.

She caught his attention at first glance. That day, when he was captured by the Archangel, he saw her.

Even then, he thought she was beautiful, but her face wasn't what caught his attention—it was her eyes. They were filled with pain and unspoken anger—they were of someone who understood the reality of war.

He would be lying if he said he didn't wonder what her anger was directed toward.

Was it him? Did he do something? He remembered thinking.

But he would soon find out.

The words he said that day when he saw her in the infirmary drove her to the edge of insanity…yet despite everything, she still chose to save his life.

Her eyes were what first caught his attention, but her kindness and her willingness to forgive were what he fell in love with. From that moment on, he couldn't forget her.

He started to look forward to meal times, because that's when he would see her. She brought him food each day when nobody else would. She talked to him like he was human. The two of them quarreled a lot, but Dearka enjoyed their brief conversations nonetheless.

In those short weeks, he fell head over heels for her.

For her sake, he betrayed ZAFT… his comrades…his friends… and even his home.

At one point, he really thought they would be together forever…

But now, he realized he was just a fool struck by love. The two of them had no future together. He was blind to have not grasped that.

He couldn't have stayed in Orb forever. PLANT was his home—the place where he belonged. He had to return sooner or later. There was no escaping that.

Millilia…she… didn't belong in PLANT. She was a natural. Who was he kidding if he said she would enjoy living in a world meant for coordinators? Millialia had lost too much in the war. He couldn't take her away from the people who loved her…

She too knew they had no future together. That's why she broke up with him.

Dearka could clearly see her reasons now, but when she first told him they needed to make a clean break, he was enraged. How could she make that decision alone? Didn't he have a say in this? She just looked at him with her determined eyes, silently telling him her mind was not going to change. Everything was over between them.

He hated her then. He hated her for doing that to him. He wanted nothing more than to make her to feel the same pain that he felt.

That same bitterness drove him to lie to her on their phone call a few months after. He was being childish then.

He sincerely regrets ever saying them, but it's not like regret ever does anything.

The only thing he could do now was hide the truth from her. It would be better this way—for both of them.

Yzak stared at him as if he had grown a second head. He made an attempt to clean his ears before asking in a shaky voice. "Dearka, could you repeat that? I think I heard you wrong."

"Can I borrow your fiancée for a day, Yzak? I swear I'll never ask anything of you ever again." Dearka begged, a serious expression plastered onto his face.

The ex-pilot of Duel was silent for a moment, his jaw slightly open from shock and disbelief. "Dearka, this is not funny. Quit it already." He said in irritation.

"I'm not joking, Yzak. As weird as this sounds, I really do mean it."

Emera blinked. This was crazy. Actually, to be more accurate, this was downright insane. Well, she always knew the blonde was a bit touched in the head, but…this was too much, even for him.

Before either she or the blonde could say anything, a flying fist struck Dearka squarely on the jaw. The impact sent him back a couple of steps before he lost his balance and landed on the floor. Dearka brought a hand to touch his bruised cheek.

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about!" Yzak barked through clenched teeth. His fist still raised.

"Milly's coming to PLANT tomorrow." Dearka retorted, not budging from his spot on the floor. "I… lied to her when I told her I had a girlfriend. You know I don't, Yzak. I can't tell her the truth. She'll hate me—"

"How is your own damn stupidity screwing yourself over any of my business?" The silver haired man demanded. "You can't just _borrow _someone's fiancée for a day! Life doesn't work like that!"

"I'm begging you, Yzak." The blonde pleaded, a hint of desperation in his voice. "I can't let her find out. This is the least I can do… I've caused her too much heartache already. She's probably finally moved on now. I can't just—"

He trailed off, unsure of the point he's trying to get across. Just who was he doing this for—her or himself?

"Why…me?" The light blue haired girl finally found her voice. "Can't you ask someone else?"

He bit his lips. "I told her a bloody politician's daughter. It's either you or Lacus Clyne. Milly knows Lacus. It wouldn't work."

"Right…" Emera answered weakly. She paused before adding, "I don't want to get involved in your personal life, Dearka. We're practically strangers. Even if I'm willing to put on an act in front of this poor unsuspecting girl, I don't think Yzak's going to agree to it."

"No, I'm not." He said breathlessly, his eyes never leaving his best friend for a single moment. "Where the hell do you get your damn crazy ideas from?"

He shrugged. "I've thought a lot about it. I don't have a lot of options. I wouldn't have asked you if there was any other choice. I know you, Yzak. I knew this was going to happen. You have no idea how many fucking times I wanted to turn around and leave this stinking place. I didn't though, because I know I had to at least try."

"If that natural girl means that much to you, then why the hell did you come back to PLANT in the first place?" He demanded. His face was slightly pink from anger.

Dearka was silent for a moment. Why _did_ he come back to PLANT? Was it because of his family? His friends? They were a part of it…but what really drove to make his decision was…

"I didn't belong there, Yzak." He said curtly. "I look at them, and I feel out of place. They're all so damn normal. There wasn't any room for me. I wanted her to come to PLANT with me… but it was too much to ask for. She had a life there. She didn't want to give it up."

No one spoke.

Emera swallowed. Was agreeing to Dearka's demands really going to help him? From the look of things, he was still in love with this girl. Pretending to be his girlfriend could only make things worse. "You still want to be with her, Dearka. Showing up with me tomorrow would only get you further from where you want to be."

He looked at her in the eyes. He answered bitterly, "Don't you think I know that? But there is no other choice. I don't belong in Orb, and she doesn't belong in PLANT. There's nothing either of us can do about that. Sometimes we just have to move on."

"Will this really help you do that?" Yzak asked suggestively. "Will Emera doing this really help you get over her?"

Dearka was silent. This was a question he tried to avoid asking himself.

"No, it wouldn't." The silver haired man continued. "You're only doing this because you want to eliminate any chance the two of you still have together. You know there is no future, so you're giving up _permanently, _and you want_ her _to do that too. If you want to lie to me, that's fine. But you should at least be honest to yourself."

The blonde was stunned. He stared at him awestruck.

"If you want to take Emera for a day, it's fine with me." He turned the other way, as a wave emotion that Dearka couldn't identify rushed to his face. "It's really her decision though."

After a moment of silence, the blunette finally said in defeat. "I'm not sure if I can get out of the meeting tomorrow… you know how the situation with the Supreme Council is. But I'll try my best."

Dearka couldn't believe his ears. Did the two of them just agree to this?

"Thanks ...I think." He gave them a weak smile. "I owe you one."

"You do. You owe me a lot for this..." The girl told him sternly. "My mother is going to give me hell for trying to bail out of the meeting."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Emera examined her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She wore a dark button up blouse with a matching skirt, and her blue locks were softly curled into waves. This was the outfit that she had always wanted to wear for Yzak, but by a twist of fate she was wearing this for the first time on a date with her fiancé's best friend.

Emera would admit that she and Yzak had terrible timing. None of their dates had ever ended up as planned. In fact more than half of them were cancelled because of emergency council meetings or early ZAFT departures. And this was precisely the reason why the outfit had remained buried in her closet for the past year. In a twisted way, she felt as if she was cheating on Yzak, wearing this for this first time on a date with another man.

In the current state, the idea of marrying Yzak felt surreal. How could they possibly spend eternity together when they could barely spend more than a week in the same city? In a way she understood what Dearka had said. Two people may love each other, but love can't triumph over everything in life. Life is complicated and they all have different obligations to fulfill.

Yzak loved her; she didn't doubt that for a second. But she knew he didn't love her nearly enough to cast away his country and his responsibility to PLANT. But where would that leave the two of them? Was she willing to settle for a part-time husband, and living in constant fear of losing him? She didn't have an answer for that.

Emera took a last look at herself in the mirror before emerging from the washroom.

At the sound of the door opening, Yzak looked up from the newspaper spread open on his lap. His mouth nearly fell open in surprise at the sight of his fiancée.

"Yo—you," he babbled uncharacteristically, "you're—you're wearing _that_?"

She frowned, looking down at her outfit, before spinning around to inspect the back.

"You don't like it?" she asked worriedly, trying and failing to not sound crestfallen.

Yzak clammed his eyes shut. The issue wasn't that she didn't look great. It was in fact precisely the opposite: she looked _too _great.

"I think it's wasted on an idiot like Dearka." Yzak said dryly after a few moments.

She blinked. "So… you like it?"

"The outfit—yes. Dearka—no." He answered curtly, snapping his head the other way.

Emera broke into a sheepish grin. "You're jealous," she observed.

"Hmmph." He didn't say anything further, keeping his back turned to her.

"Yzak…" she started. He could be so childish at times, but she was comforted by the idea that the hotheaded captain cared enough about her to fuss over a simple outfit. "This date doesn't mean anything. I'm doing this as a favor to Dearka, that's all. I can change—"

"No." He spun around, grabbing her wrist in time to stop her from going back into the washroom. "It's fine. Just go."

Emera wrapped her arms around the silver haired man. She knew why he was upset; the same thoughts were running through her head only moments earlier. "I know, Yzak… I know… I want to be with you too." She nuzzled her head against his. "I want to go on a date with _you_. I want come home to see _you_. I just want to be with _you. _Those things sound so simple, but why do they feel impossible?"

"I know…" he whispered, unable to meet her gaze. He knew where this conversation was leading. She was going to ask him the question again, but he had no answer to give her. He didn't want to think about those things. He didn't want to choose.

Emera knew this, and didn't push the matter any further.

Dearka picked her up soon after—the two of them were meeting Millialia at a local café in half an hour and he wanted to straighten out the details with her prior to the appointment to avoid giving conflicting stories.

"So we met 6 months ago at a Council Gala, and I asked Emera to dance." Dearka said casually to the brunette as the three of them sat around a small table under a parasol shielding them from PLANT's artificial sun.

Emera gave Dearka a soft smile—one that she would probably have given to Yzak if she were here with him. "He was very charming. I couldn't say no."

Dearka returned her smile. "And things just took off from there. So Milly… how are things with you? When is your photo exhibition?"

"Tomorrow," she answered, taking a sip of her coffee. "Things have been pretty great. I'm really enjoying my job. I love travelling, and capturing the real world with my pictures, not just the images that people want to present."

"I'm really glad to hear that." Dearka said softly.

"What about you, Emera? If I'm not wrong, you're Emera Leitner—the Chair Woman's daughter?" The brunette asked politely, masking any uneasiness that she might have carried underneath.

"I am," she smiled, "I'm surprised you're able to recognize me especially when I'm dressed like this."

Millialia laughed. " I admit. I was a bit thrown off. You always seemed so professional on news broadcasts; I was surprised to see you dressed like an ordinary girl—if you can excuse me for being so blunt."

"None taken," Emera grinned, "it's good to be myself one in a while. I love my job, and I love my people, but some times I just want to be a normal person… and Dearka's great for that."

Dearka mentally patted her on the back for that comment. She was great at this, but he shouldn't have expected any less from her. She was a top-class politician after all.

"How do the two of you know each other?" Emera probed, knowing fully well of the story behind the two of them.

That question made the blonde and the brunette uneasy.

Millialia visibly tensed up, "I… uh… we met during the first war."

"When I… was taken prisoner by the Archangel. Milly was the one who looked after me…" Dearka continued.

The blue haired girl appeared to be curious. "Dearka… you changed sides during the war, didn't you? Was it—" she trailed off.

"I… uh…" Dearka couldn't answer. What was she trying to do? She knew the story better than anyone, having judged him at the end of the last war. If this woman could recite his file backwards and forwards, she could easily deduce that Milly was the reason.

"I see," Emera said softly, as if she had understood everything.

"You don't need to worry," Milly said quickly, looking slightly awkward, "there's nothing between us now. He's very happy with you."

Emera looked thoughtful, "I know it's not my place to ask… but… what happened between the two of you? The bond of going through a war together, I imagine, is stronger than any other kind of relationship."

She was trying to get Milly's side of the story, Dearka suddenly understood. This was to test their relationship, and to get Dearka the final closure that he needs.

"I won't lie," she looked squarely into the other girl's eyes. "He meant a lot to me, but I couldn't give everything up for him, and I couldn't ask him to do it for me. The best thing to do was to let go."

Emera turned her gaze to Dearka, who struggled to hide his anger, threatening to resurface. "That wasn't your decision to make." The blonde said at last, "You can't decide everything on your own. You should have talked to me."

"You should have known, Dearka. There was no future. I'm a natural, and you're a coordinator. You belong to PLANT and I belong to Earth. When push comes to shove and another war breaks out, you would return to PLANT to be by Yzak's side and to defend your home. What would have happened then?" She said almost tearfully, struggling to prevent the droplets from breaking free, "I'm glad you're happy, I really am. And I'm glad you're with Emera."

At that moment, Dearka knew how much she had loved him. She made the decision and took the burden herself to free him from the pain. She wanted him to hate her, to make it easier for him to move on, while she struggled silently.

"I hope you find happiness too, Milly." Dearka said at last. For both of their sakes, he had to let go. Hanging on would only make things harder for her.

Emera was silent when she returned home that night. Her thoughts were perplexed and scattered, and she made no effort to piece them together. She didn't want to know what her mind had to tell her.

_The best thing to do was to let go. _

Millialia's words reverberated, as she thrust her fist against the wooden door. The pain momentarily stopped her terrifying thoughts. She didn't want to think about it—about the possibility of losing Yzak.

But ultimately what choice would she have in the future? Was she cold enough to _force _Yzak to choose between her and ZAFT? Was that how she wanted their relationship to play out?

The simple answer was _no_. She loved him too much for that. Yzak would lose a bit of himself no matter what option he took. Emera refused to be the one to put him in that position.

But where would this leave her?


End file.
